July 30, 2018…

July 30 2019 The Day Our World Changed Forever and Build A Better Boat

The Day Our World Changed Forever

My first post in the journal my friend Judy gave me was Monday, July 30, 2018-the day of Tom’s surgery.

It was the first time Tom had ever been in a hospital and the first time he had ever had surgery. He was on no medications for anything. Yet here we were, in the holding room, waiting for them to perform surgery-for Bladder Cancer.

My Blog That Day…

The morning is dragging. Tom can’t eat or drink – just wait. We leave before 10 am to arrive at 11:15 am at the hospital for surgery scheduled for 1:15 pm. The surgery didn’t start until 2:00 pm.

The Doctor won’t confirm what he already knows – it’s cancer. Not thrilled about them putting Mitomycin-C in his bladder after the surgery. It’s Chemo.

The Dr. met with me after the surgery and was very bland stating, “it’s cancer.” Without missing a breath he went on to say they would start BCB (chemo in the bladder) treatments and if that didn’t work, regular chemo, radiation, and removal of his bladder. My head was reeling.

I remember being in the Dr.’s office when he, again, rather blandly told Tom it was “probably cancer.” I remember that awful feeling inside and looking at Tom’s face trying to decide what was going on in his mind. He was emotionless and just said “okay” to everything the Dr. said. Neither of us had any questions, we were both in shock.

As we left the office, I stopped in the restroom-I felt sick.

During the surgery, they scraped several tumors and clusters of tumors from the lining of his bladder. We were told they would call with the Biopsy results.

Tom’s first statement: “I don’t want to lose my hair.” He was scared of the chemo drug that was sitting in his bladder.

Before we left the hospital, the nurse showed me how to deal with the catheter and told me to use latex gloves because the Mitomycin-C is toxic. I drained it the first couple of days and then Tom insisted on doing it until the next Dr.’s appointment.

Our world changed forever on that day. I brought Tom home with the catheter.

I was grateful for my sister. She’s an RN and a Certified Holistic Nutritionist. She had begun researching natural treatments.

I knew I had to share with Tom the information my sister had started researching and was afraid he wouldn’t consider alternative treatments. I didn’t want to share the stats on survival if going with Western Medicine.

I hate the word cancer. The word by itself creates fear in everyone. I know it did in me and I know it did in Tom.

Where in the World Have We Been?

Build A Better Boat and Diane P Leone

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. It was a bit of a surprise to us what we would go through emotionally after getting the news that Tom is cancer-free. Yes, after the shock and it sank in that it was real, we were so happy, relieved.

Living a real, authentic life together is important and we hope all of our family and friends understand and if the don’t, it’s okay.

What we didn’t expect? How do we decide when/how we can modify what we are doing? When we tell people Tom is cancer-free, they don’t say it but we think they are thinking, “that’s great but it can (or will) come back.” We discussed it and our response is that if Tom becomes symptomatic again, we know what to do and we are confident in that.

We are also continuing to eat whole, organic foods and we decided we won’t stop that. Regarding treatments and nutrient/supplements, we are taking time to evaluate them and after more testing over several months, we’ll decide, with the help of Tom’s Doctor, what to cut back on.

We both actually have felt a grieving process of losing our life before cancer. The truth is, life has changed forever after the cancer diagnosis. Then we spent a year completely focused on survival mode and getting Tom well. Now, what is our normal life? It feels a bit robotic and exhausting.

We want more peace in our life. We want to enjoy life again and appreciate it so much more. We eventually want to be able to travel a little bit.

Physical things are not important to us. Something interesting, however, is we have lived in our home 22 years and we tend to pick nice, quality furnishings and we’ve owned most of our things for many years. It feels like a memory of life before so we hope in the future to replace some pieces, and re-paint.

I am focusing on re-starting my business and determining when and how I will transition or add on helping people with holistic wellness. It’s become my passion.